Some days I feel like I am the only mother out there that has problems controlling her anger and frustration when it comes to her child. Lately Alexis knows just how to push my buttons. I swear she's going through puberty already, and she's only 2! She cries about EVERYTHING!!! The littlest thing can set her off, and if she doesn't get her way, she freaks out, throws tantrums, bawls her head off, and says she just wants to go to bed. When I try to console her she has also started saying "Don't touch me!!", which she says fiercly, with a scowl on her face! Where did she learn this??? I don't know what is causing this behavior, but most of all, I just don't know what to do about it. I feel like a terrible mother. I continue to find myself getting overly frustrated, and I usually make the problem worse by yelling. I feel on the verge of tears everyday.
Alexis is very much a "mama's girl" and wants me to hold her and be right next to her ALL day. If you're a mom, I'm sure you understand that this isn't possible all of the time. Things need to get done around the house, and now that I am getting bigger with this pregnancy, I can't carry her around all of the time. I just feel helpless. Just thinking of having another baby in the house scares me to death. I think it's going to be very hard on Alexis, because she's so used to having all of my attention. I know she'll adjust, (because she won't have a choice), and I'm sure she'll love her little brother...I'm just nervous.
I know you're all probably wondering why I am admitting to this insanity. I guess I'm just wondering if anyone else has gone through this with their 2-year-old children, especially girls. I'm sure I'm not the only one, but I can't help but feel that I am the one to blame for her behavior. Sometimes I also feel like maybe she's not getting enough sleep, because she wakes up at 6:30 everyday, but she takes a 2-hour nap in the afternoon, and it's not like I can force her to go back to sleep in the morning (trust me, I've tried).
Please don't judge me, but perhaps keep me in your prayers. That I can make it through this struggle and, at some point, come to find peace within myself...and with my child.
11 comments:
Me too. I sent you an e-mail. Hang in there!
Oh boy ... you are not alone!!! Mix one 2-year-old, one pregnant mom, lack of sleep and a bunch of pregnancy hormones ... it produces a really tough time period. If I can do one thing, that would be to encourage you that these times come and then they go. And don't beat yourself up about not being perfect in the process - no one is! Just keep working through each day and try to find a way to laugh at as much of it as you can. I know that it isn't easy to do, but I can attest that when I do, it REALLY helps!!!!! (And yes, I need to do a LOT more of it.) Take care and just so you know, the bird will be gone soon - so let us play with her again ... please!
I'm sure you are doing your best and Alexis is just trying to see what makes you react. I don't have experience with having a 2 year old of my own but having watched nieces I am sure it is just part of the terrible 2s. Ellie has recently started something. When she cries because she is in trouble or because I won't let her have something, she cries and covers her mouth like it is super dramatic. If she's really trying to make a point, she covers both her eyes and then peaks out at me. They are just trying to get what they want the only way they know how at this age; crying and bothering mom. Kids are smart. (PS a good mom seems like a mean mom because she doesn't always give in to the child). Hang in there. Involve Alexis as much as possible with the pregnancy and the new baby.
You are totally not alone. I think all mothers experience this... most of the time. She is at the age where she is trying to figure out her limits with you. Such a tough phase. Keep up with what you are doing... and hopefully this will pass before the baby comes. Give her lots of love. I've learned that when my kids are the grumpiest or meanest to me... it's their way of looking for attention. You are doing great!
LOL I just got off the phone with my sister-in-law after a 2 hour cry session in which we both were feeling guilty for losing our tempers with our kids. So goodness NO you are not the only one. For me the worst part is the guilt. I punish Ava for throwing temper tantrums yet at 31 I still yell when I shouldn't. Baby #2 will be hard on both of you but just try to remember IT WILL GET BETTER! Lastly, (sorry I am saying to much) Ava went through the "horrible tantrum stage" at 21 months and as soon as I found a punishment she really hated it stopped. Then she was an angel and we never went through terrible twos or trying threes. So chances are it is just a stage. Good Luck and your doing great!
Tray, see look at all these comments, you are soooo not alone, and you are a great mom. It's hard to enforce boundaries sometimes w/o getting frustrated. Landon sure knows how to get me worked up and he's three. It's not that she is a girl, it's more the age, because Landon does all those same things. Like I said in my email I wish we were closer. She will adjust to the baby they all do and maybe it will be good to have to have her need Adrian and not just you. It's good for Dads to be needed too. I will call you tomorrow. Love ya.
I am sorry that it has been so frustrating for you Tracey. We have sure been adjusting to having Ethan here and having Kate sure test limits and be a little rough with her little brother. I was just thinking the other day that I don't love the Mom that I am becoming because I hear myself saying things to her that I swore I would never say! You are doing good because you care enough to want to make changes and take care of Alexis. I hope that things get better, I am sure they will.
This is the most honest blog post I've read in a LONG time, so many blogs out there giving the appearance that motherhood is bliss all the time . . . so far from the truth! Went to BYU, went on a mission, learned a foreign language, motherhood is definately the hardest thing I've ever done! 3 boys and another on the way, it's not the new baby I'm worried about, it's handling the ones I've already got most of the time. What's worked for me is food, snacks, treats, popcicles, might sound bad, but if it buys a few minutes of sanity, it's worth it!
Hey Tracey just found your blog on Sara's! Hang in there I'm sure you are EXHAUSTED chasing a 2 year old around being pregnant. I haven't dealt with a 2 year old yet, but I'm sure she can feel something is different and going to change and wants the assurance that you are there for her. You're a great mom and I admire you for blogging about something everybody deals with just doesn't want to say out loud! :)
:) I love you. I love reading your updates and those that don't seem so "up"... Oh the joys of life! I don't have my own kiddos yet, but here's a good read applicable for all women, and maybe a good reprieve after another Alexis tantrum: http://segullah.org/house-a-home/so-what-else-do-you-do/. Enjoy! Sure do love you!!
Oh man, I love this normal insanity and update.
After having 4 kids, I have finally been able to emotionally detach myself from my kids for a few minutes while they are figuring out their emotions. I can walk away from them and be ok with it, and not CARE so much. They are needing to figure out the emotions they are feeling, and I can be in the other room!
Also, It is so sad to admit, but I can let my kids cry them selves to sleep or be upset and it doesn't bother me at ALL! How crazy is that! It is easier to realize this is a small blip on the map of life, and it is easier to let them figure things out on their own at the age of 2 than later in life when the consequences are more scary! You are so hard on your self. You are doing great as a Mom. Don't worry!
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